Amore

Hi you guys! It’s the weekend, and it’s a nice day out. I went bowling with my family, and a song came on, and I thought of my ex. I guess, I was in love with him. I sometimes wonder, when I will stop thinking about him, he really never wanted to be with me, or felt anything for me. He never said one kind word. I thought I was okay, just being by myself, but I think I want to date again. I think the reason for me, still thinking of him, and having angry and sad thoughts..because I am never going to have closure, I will have to come to peace with it somehow. I am never going to hear an apology, or hope he might see how he had a good thing, and beg me back. I never heard an apology from him, and I never will. If you breakup, without a resolution, you have to come to peace, and let go. That’s what I am doing. I want to meet someone, that would be good to me, and a great father figure for my son. I think everything happens for a reason, and I believe in Karma. Its almost three months, and I have been crying and angry. I guess I was in Love with him, what is love? How do you know you are in love? Is it loving everything about that person, and their flaws as well. Still love that person, the way they are. It wasn’t being received back. I think he wanted to change me, the way he wanted. He couldn’t like me for me. I was changing for him, and I shouldn’t have to. It made me feel, after it was over, that I wasn’t beautiful, that he might prefer that woman right there, instead of me. Sometimes I catch myself, wanting to call him…knowing he wouldn’t answer. I want this year, to go out of my comfort, and try to hit on a guy, and flirt. I need work on that lolol..
What is love to you? The word has different meaning for everyone. I never loved anyone, or said it to anyone, for a long long time, until him. He never said it back….

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